van Persie injury calls for more attacking midfield

As the depressing reality of Robin van Persie's injury sinks in, the predictable reaction has been "who will replace him?" A concurrent injury to our toff-dating target man Nicky Bendtner makes the role at the front of the 4-3-3 look worryingly sparse.

Everton suffered far worse last season, deprived by injuries of all their forwards. Their (albeit enforced) reaction was to play more attacking midfielders, and the Toffees surprised everyone by stringing together some most impressive results with the likes of Cahill and Fellaini released from any kind of leash.

Blessed with an abundance of nippy little "technical" players, we now have the opportunity to do the same and Wenger should try to make the most of a bad situation by embracing the pass-and-move ethos he holds so dear.

As a start, the returned Rosicky should play centre midfield, not as part of the front three. I explained why a couple of weeks ago when reporting on Czech Republic v Poland:

Rosicky looked absolutely brilliant, playing in centre midfield as part of a 4-4-2. Personally I think this is his best position, if not in the free role. He comes deep (so to speak), distributes play, feverishly darts around like a maniac, then gets space to shoot when drifting surreptitiously forward. His through balls are almost Cesc-esque.

With our current 4-3-3 I'd like to see TomTom playing alongside, say, Cesc and Song, with the most pacey players (Walcott, Vela) given a chance up front.

The notion that Rosicky has to be kept "safe" in a wide position, or in a more attacking role, is misguided. And don't give me any of this nonsense about the English league being too physical for such an experiment. The Poles know how to kick people, too.

Admittedly Vela and Theo are both injured, yet expected to return to training this week--presumably meaning they'll return significantly before van Persie.

Furthermore, we seem to have Eduardo back to full fitness and Sami Nasri making good progress. Both are lacking that 'match sharpness', but there's no better cure for this than chucking the little blighters in at the deep end. They'll swim--they're too good not to.

In light of this, I'd suggest the following for the next couple games:

Almunia

Sagna / Eboue - Gallas - Vermaelen - Gibbs

Cesc - Song - Rosicky

Nasri - Eduardo - Arshavin

By effectively fielding a 'front 5' the boss could counter the possible effects on our goalscoring with van Persie out. Such a flood of sharp, technically-brilliant flair can terrorise the opposition in the manner that we know best, keeping our excellent run on track.

Nicky B's injury may be bad timing for him, but let's embrace the absence of a target man. When does hoofing up to a big fella ever help us, anyway?

The only flaw with this that I can see is the absence of Rambo, who seems to have had a blinder against Scotland on the weekend. This may be a sufficient criticism to play change the above 11, but nonetheless my sentiment remains--perversely, for a manager criticised as being too attacking, Wenger needs to stop thinking of the whole squad (except Eboue) in terms of Midfielder or Attacker. He should have the minerals to play some of our most gifted players, like Rosicky, in centre midfield. Even with our main attacker absent, the mantra should remain Attack Attack Attack.

Vassiriki Abou Diaby - lost cause or patience needed?

At half time against West Ham, I remarked to a fellow Goon of mine:

“Diaby’s my Man of the Match so far”

And he was, having stood out as the best player on the pitch. Seriously—go watch the tape if you don’t believe me.

Yet such incredulity is perfectly understandable given that, somewhat predictably, our friend Vassiriki Abou spent the next 45 minutes being absolutely abysmal—and 90 minutes against the Totts being even worse. Leaving a baffled Julian wondering…

…HOW THE BLOODY DEUCE CAN THAT HAPPEN?

HOW CAN HE BE THE BEST PLAYER ON THE PITCH ONE MINUTE, THEN THE ABSOLUTE WORST THE NEXT?

A few days ago my fellow scribe Evans narrated a conversation from a public house on this very subject:

A man in the pub yesterday labelled him “a mystery wrapped inside an enigma”. On the basis of this season I’m increasingly quick to side with his mate, and label him a “mystery wrapped inside a shit fucking footballer”

Now, I do apologise, but to Man B I say what I foolishly said to a woman on a date a few weeks ago during a minor disagreement on some or other issue of politics. Casting a patronisingly glance across the table, I responded to her concisely-worded argument with:

“That may be a nice sound-bite—but it’s not actually true”

Woman A was distinctly unimpressed, but the important thing is that I was right. And I’m right about this, too.

Click to second 36 of this video. Is that the goal of a shit fucking footballer?



No, it’s not. And there are numerous other goals to make the point. And there was one more last night. In the league this season he’s scored 3 goals in 9 games, a pretty damn good ratio by anyone’s standards.

The boy has talent, and to deny it is myopic. But don’t misunderstand my point—I’m not, for a minute, saying his form is acceptable, precisely because, to state the obvious, this talent only shines through 5-10% of the time.

And when Diaby’s bad … he’s really bad. The aforementioned performance against the Totts was simply abominable, and in such an important game, where I would literally strangle my daughter’s pet kitten (should either exist) for three points, I can understand the frustration of Evans and 57,000 others. Fortunately the Totts were so pitifully wank that neither feline massacre nor a strong Diaby performance were needed.

I sense the boy’s poor form is partly in response to bottling under the pressure and criticism that he currently faces. We’ve seen how this affects other young players, with Song at Fulham being the most infamous example. Last night, in a relatively pressure-free game, he looked significantly better than against the Totts, for example.

So perhaps it’s time to take a long hard look at the situation and decide which of the following Diaby fits into:

1. Lost cause
2. Needs time

In the first instance, we have the factors seemingly inherent in Diaby’s on-field character. He often seems lethargic, goes missing, dwells on the ball too long, dribbles excessively. Are these permanent? Will they simply never disappear?

In the second instance, we have other examples of players who took years to click. Alex Song, up until March or April, seemed completely useless—and he didn’t have Diaby’s goals or glimpses of brilliance to fall back on. Then something clicked, and while I still have reservations about his defending, Song’s passing, composure and even balance somehow seem to have improved immeasurably. His performance against the Totts was first rate.

Back to Diaby, and I hope that, with a long run in the side, he will become consistent enough to iron out the faults, and perhaps even turn his idiosyncracies into strengths--at least in the case of the dribbling and the constant urge to do something different. Injuries have always prevented a long spell in the first team, and under a 4-4-2 he was typically shifted into ill-fitting positions.

Having spent the summer allegedly bulking up, and with the transformation to 4-3-3, this is Diaby’s chance. He must show character and a determination to take it. In the meantime, as frustrating as it can be, we should at least hold off the groans when he loses the ball. They don’t change Wenger’s mind, and they do nothing but stunt the development of a player who might, just might click.

Slavia Prague lose but Fixer Harris unconcerned as Robbie Keane suffers public humiliation

Czech model Petra Nemcova laughs and toasts another ritual trouncing of Tottnum Hotsperz

My Czech team, Slavia Prague, appear to have become rubbish / rubbisher.

An already average season has threatened to completely crumble after the demoralising home defeat to rivals Sparta last month. Another home defeat followed, this time against Sigma Olomouc (a fixture I was fortunate enough to attend two seasons ago). In fairness, Slavia dominated this game, had numerous chances and hit the woodwork on several occasions--but couldn't score.

Ring any bells?

And now, today, they have fallen to a 1-0 away defeat at Příbram. The goal came 15 minutes before the end, scored by 23 year old defender Marek Plasil.

But do I care?

For once, not really. For as you know, fond Reader, today marked yet another comfortable win for the Arsenal against that collection of worthless pondlife that occasionally have reason to darken our doors.

It's now a decade since the scum managed to beat us in a major competition. At the time of their last (scrappy, 2-1) win over us, Cesc Fabregas was a 12 year old kicking a ball around a Catalan park. Eminem was virtually unheard of. Osama Bin Laden even less so. George W. Bush hadn't even been elected selected.

I can hardly fucking remember it.

And yet they still have the temerity, every now and then, to come along and claim they're our peers. Or that they have a better squad.

How utterly embarrassing. You think they'd learn.

Entertainingly, the mouthy fool who uttered such obscenities prior to this game was also one of its worst performers. Robbie Keane--you are looking undoubtedly fat and grey, a bit like the Prime Minister. You should both fuck off and retire. For Robbie, there must be loads of loss-making pubs just waiting for a bored, ill-educated owner.

Don't forget the photos of all those trophies you won, now.

For Gordo ... well, I don't know what. Make yourself a Lord or something.

Returning to today--our boys were simply brilliant, with the exception of Diaby who I'll discuss later in the week. Tommy V, Gallas, Cesc, van Persie and Arshavin deserve particular praise. On another day the febrile Russian, storming about like it was the last game of his life, could have had a hatrick. As it was, he created space and opportunities, and scared the living shit out of the two clumsy muppets in Tottnum's centre defence.

Top stuff.

This was no "suicide", as claimed by a post-match melancholy Twitcher Harry. This was a rout. A sharper Eddy would have seen us 5-0 up at least.

To hop quickly back to CZ...

...Teplice and Jablonec remain equal top of the table, with Banik Ostrava up in third and Sparta in fourth.

Ostrava and Sparta have just drawn 1-1.

The top two should extend their leads following two reasonably easy games tomorrow.

Unhappy at the Hammers – Realism kicks in

This blog, to the few who know it intimately, is not frequently prone to bouts of pessimism.

And this particular writer is one whose views generally fly in the face of realism to such an extent that his expectations look facts and form unwaveringly in the eye and carry on regardless, belying all sensible analysis.

The bellicose twaddle above is an attempt therefore to separate this post from the knee-jerk reactionism that will no doubt be the general response to Arsenal’s draw at Upton Park. That made clear however, the message is probably remarkably similar:

THIS ARSENAL TEAM IS UNLIKELY* TO WIN ANYTHING.

‘Why?’ you ask? Because the team cannot defend. And, to hammer (arf!) the point home once more;

BECAUSE THIS IS A TEAM SET UP TO DO NOTHING BUT SCORE GOALS.

Look at the midfield/attack: Van Persie, Arshavin, Fabregas, Rosicky: these are four of the six, all of whose job is purely either to score goals or supply them. Which leaves Song and, currently, Diaby.

Song, for all his frequent positional naivety, is a decent defensive player – his covering for Vermaelen whenever the Belgian storms forward demonstrates that.

Diaby, for all his occasional effort, simply isn’t. Julian H, in his significantly greater wisdom, has previously highlighted Diaby’s infuriating contribution as a mixture of the sublime and the ridiculous. A man in the pub yesterday labelled him “a mystery wrapped inside an enigma”. On the basis of this season I’m increasingly quick to side with his mate, and label him a “mystery wrapped inside a shit fucking footballer” - a player whose job, judging by performance, is to roam around the midfield, slow down our attacking and give away stupid freekicks. I just don’t understand what he does – he’s not a Vieria, a Gilberto or even a Denilson at the moment. He’s not even a ‘nothing’ - his habit of giving away freekicks in dangerous areas makes his sum contribution largely negative.

And it just isn’t enough. The lack of balance in the team is unbelievable. Good as the Gallas/Vermaelen combination appears there are only two of them – two (or even four if we count Clichy and Sagna) players cannot repel the opposition by themselves. That is why we continue to concede so many goals despite the general feeling we have tightened up as a defensive unit - because teams don’t have to try hard to get one on one with the defence – there is no screen in front of it at all. As a consequence teams get at our defence with embarrassing ease. Look to the Blackburn game a few weeks ago for examples – count the amount of times that the likes of David Dunn were simply able to pick up the ball 40 yards out and instantly be driving towards the last line of defence with no hint of a challenge from a midfielder.

The truth is as obvious as it is important - a team needs to defend as one, and this Arsenal team simply does not.

*There's always room for a cowardly caveat

Czech football update - Sparta stutter, Romanovs clattered

Petra Němcová - stranded at sea, no Limpars in sight

If you were relieved to see the return to real football this weekend, after the usual insipid nonsense of the international break, then spare a thought for the Czechs. In midweek, while Beckham's Man of the Match award was pleasingly riling Stan Dogger Collymore, my favourite Slavs were pointlessly drawing 0-0 to Northern Ireland in front of a half-empty Eden Stadium (usually home to Slavia).

In case you haven't noticed - the Czechs are out and the Slovaks are through. Slovenia's qualification lies in a play-off (the draw is tomorrow, Monday). Poland are also out, depriving London of many a hungover plumber come summer 2010.

More bad news arrived today as Slavia Prague reserve 'keeper Deniss Romanovs suffered a headline-making injury in what appears to be a Petr Čech-like situation. Alas one's grasp of Czech only extends to translating the current headline on eFotbal.cz ("Brankář Slavie Dennis Romanovs byl vážně zraněn" - "Goalkeeper of Slavia Dennis Romanovs was injured seriously"), so we can't tell how bad it is. Gingers for Limpar sends best wishes.

Slavia did, at least, manage to win the game (against Kladno) two nil, pushing them up to fourth in the Gambrinus Liga, equal with rivals Sparta who suffered a rather pants 1-1 home draw against České Budějovice. Both goals for Slavia came courtesy of Macedonian forward Riste Naumov, who got on the end of crosses from Peter Grajciar and Adam Hloušek, the latter having made his debut for the Czech Republic in midweek.

Teplice had earlier stormed to the top of the Liga with a comfortable 3-0 away win at Příbram - although to offer some kind of context, the entire population of Příbram would take up little more than half the Arsenal stadium. Nonetheless, Teplice and Jablonec are looking pretty damn hot, as the prospect of a non-Prague Liga winner becomes increasingly likely. Jablonec take on Plzeň tomorrow.

Enjoy the photo.

P.S. If you'd like to read what I have to say about the Arsenal (imagine...), buy the next edition of the Gooner, wherein my potentially Pulitzer-winning Birmingham match report will lie.

Arsenal have NOT overpriced and underperformed

Back in August many a Gooner suggested that the club was finally facing the reality of charging high prices and producing no silverware.

Home tickets were selling portentously slowly, they noted.

Combined with the recession, so the theory went, the effect on the club and Project Wenger in particular could be devastating. Lower attendances, less income et cetera.

I never believed this, and still don't. August's slow take up, I reckon(ed), was simply due to the usual August slump--loads of people jetting off to Majorca and that.

Looking at the situation a couple of months on, it seems as if we're doing ok.

This table shows the proportion of seats taken for home games, with the Arsenal lying in equal third place.

98.5 per cent of our seats are taken (on average), with only ManUSA and Wolves having higher ratios.

Admittedly I'm not sure if this includes away sections (and if it does, then we'd be penalised for Blackburn's usual piss-poor showing) or if it's based on tickets sold or seats attended--as we all know, there's some difference betwixt the two. Furthermore, I believe this is only for league games.

Nonetheless, good news for the club, methinks.

Another Wobbly TABLE

Team Pld Total Highest Average Capacity Pct
1 Wolverhampton Wndrs (17) 4 113273 29023 28318 28525 99.2%
2 Manchester United (2) 4 300337 75114 75084 75769 99.0%
3 Chelsea (1) 4 165858 41732 41465 42055 98.5%
4 Arsenal (5) 3 178583 60049 59528 60432 98.5%
5 Tottenham Hotspur (3) 4 142500 35935 35625 36310 98.1%
6 Liverpool (6) 4 176194 44392 44049 45362 97.1%
7 Stoke City (11) 4 109416 27500 27354 28384 96.3%
8 Manchester City (4) 3 137371 47339 45790 48000 95.3%
9 Fulham (15) 3 75295 25700 25098 26600 94.3%
10 West Ham United (19) 3 100365 34658 33455 35647 93.8%
11 Hull City (18) 4 94315 24735 23579 25404 92.8%
12 Everton (10) 4 146730 39309 36683 40394 90.8%
13 Burnley (9) 4 81154 20872 20289 22546 89.9%
14 Portsmouth (20) 4 71016 18116 17754 20688 85.8%
15 Aston Villa (7) 4 142398 37924 35600 42551 83.6%
16 Blackburn Rovers (16) 4 103022 29584 25756 31367 82.1%
17 Birmingham City (14) 4 95483 28671 23871 30009 79.5%
18 Sunderland (8) 4 154848 41179 38712 49000 79.0%
19 Bolton Wanderers (13) 4 87101 23284 21775 28723 75.8%
20 Wigan Athletic (12) 4 70509 18542 17627 25138 70.1%

Bo Peep, summer breeding, wedding rings and Saturday lager

Alena Seredovas - more being bred, summer 2010

How many of you little scamps watched the Czechs?

Sweet FA, I imagine.

Although in fairness, my little Bo Peeps, you were right not to bother - as neighbours Slovakia plummeted to a 0-2 home defeat against Slovenia, leaving the victorious Not-Balkans with a strong chance of qualifying for South Africa.

Meanwhile the Czechs and Poles crash out, leaving them with a summer of nothing to do except produce another generation of people who look like the photo above.

A confession, as well - your author saw only the first 20 minutes of the game. After that a text message interrupted the action. It was Jason Barlow. You know, Jason. Hairy bloke, northern accent, likes Proust. He was outside. They wouldn't let him in. Not surprising, thought I, but ventured out to find that the fiendish manager had locked the doors, and a crowd of angry Slavs were festering on the street. Upon speaking to the manager, one of the baying crowd turned on me:

"HE'S BRITISH!" she said, in an English accent.

"ARE YOU MARRIED?" she continued, bafflingly. "DO YOU HAVE A RING? DO YOU HAVE A RING?"

Turns out this wasn't a solicitation. Rather she's married to a Czech bloke, and thought they should have priority.

Fucking odd.

A Footballing Point

Rosicky looked absolutely brilliant, playing in centre midfield as part of a 4-4-2. Personally I think this is his best position, if not in the free role. He comes deep (so to speak), distributes play, feverishly darts around like a maniac, then gets space to shoot when drifting surreptitiously forward. His through balls are almost Cesc-esque.

With our current 4-3-3 I'd like to see TomTom playing alongside, say, Cesc and Song (although with a caveat - see end of post), with the most pacey players (Walcott, Vela) given a chance up front.

The notion that Rosicky has to be kept "safe" in a wide position, or in a more attacking role, is misguided. And don't give me any of this nonsense about the English league being too physical for such an experiment. The Poles know how to kick people, too.

A brief plug...

...for this page on Arsenal Addict. He recommends a shorter season with dedicated times for international tournaments and qualifiers.

This is an idea I've long endorsed. Let's privatise the international game - they can have city tournaments to decide qualification over two or three weeks, each of which can have big name sponsorship, thus paying for all countries to insure the players so that compensation can be paid to the clubs that suffer from injured assets.

If UEFA / FIFA weren't run by meglomaniac Stalinists, this may have a chance of happening.

The light...

... at the end of all this tunnel of nonsense, however, is of course the return to league football, and a nice traditional 3pm Saturday kick off to welcome us back.

Like many, I was shockingly frustrated after the Blackburn win. In spite of the brilliance of the main four going forward, our defending was disgracefully indifferent. We were about as disciplined as a stoned teenager with a porn mag and two buckets of M&Ms.

Song still does not protect the defence. Watch a replay of their second goal and keep your eye on him. There is simply no defensive ethos amongst our midfielders. Mr Song must watch some ol' videos of Flamini's performances, else start competing with Cesc for a ball-distributing role in the side. You can't be a defensive midfielder without defending - reliably. Another example - Man City's second goal last month, which effectively turned the game. Call that a tackle? I don't.

But enough moaning. Saturday will be glorious, and as usual Block 6 will be entirely behind the boys in red and white, especially Eddy if he makes a return.

If you want to meet the legend that is me, I'll be in the Rocket from 1pm drinking overly-priced fizzy lager with Mr Gallagher and co. I'll sign legs, t-shirts and print-outs of this post.

Adieu for now...