Sperz Boss Ramos Charms Fleet Street

Top Spanish coach Juande Ramos has hilariously claimed that his club, FC Lilleyshite Minnows, are "massive" and "can be compared to Manchester United".

Projecting his voice above the assembled journalists' hyena-like cackles of laughter, Ramos went odd to add:

"... or the other top-four clubs."

At this stage the room of Fleet Street hacks collapsed, in unison, to form a moving human carpet of grown men and women rolling around the floor in hysterics.

Harry Sams of the Daily Rhyme, breathless and struggling to form a sentence, said:

"It was brilliant, priceless - better than that bit in Monty Python when the Roman bloke says his mate is called Bigus Dickus"

Two journalists died of physical exhaustion.

Surviving hacks described Ramos as "a top bloke", "very funny" and "clearly someone with a huge appreciation of irony".

Following Ramos's advice, Gingers for Limpar exclusively compares FC Lilleyshite Minnows to the biggest three clubs in English football's history...

League Titles:

Liverpool – 18
Man Utd – 17
Arsenal – 13

Tiny Totts – 2


Attendance:

ManUSA – 75,638
Arsenal – 60,062
Liverpool – 43,529

Tiny Totts – 35,931


Income:

ManUSA - £245m
Arsenal – £200m
Liverpool – £150m

Tiny Totts – £70m